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Wilson Mizner quotes

1876 - 1933, American playwright and entrepreneur

A good listener is not only popular everywhere, but after a while he gets to know something.
Wilson Mizner

Be nice to people on your way up, because you'll meet them on your way down.
Wilson Mizner

Hollywood is a trip through a sewer in a glass-bottomed boat.
Wilson Mizner

In order to excel, you must be completely dedicated to your chosen sport. You must also be
prepared to work hard and be willing to accept destructive criticism. Without 100
percent dedication, you won't be able to do this.
Wilson Mizner

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism, to steal ideas from many is research.
Wilson Mizner

The most pitiful human ailment is a birdseed heart.
Wilson Mizner

The most efficient water power in the world - women's tears.
Wilson Mizner

Don't talk about yourself; it will be done when you leave.
Wilson Mizner

A fellow who is always declaring he's no fool usually has his suspicions.
Wilson Mizner

I've known countless people who were reservoirs of learning, yet never had a thought.
Wilson Mizner

I respect faith, but doubt is what gets you an education.
Wilson Mizner

The gent who wakes up and finds himself a success hasn't been asleep.
Wilson Mizner

I hate careless flattery, the kind that exhausts you in your efforts to believe it.
Wilson Mizner

Working for Warner Brothers is like fucking a porcupine: It's a hundred pricks against one.
Wilson Mizner

Do not be desirous of having things done quickly. Do not look at small advantages. Desire to
have things done quickly prevents their being done thoroughly. Looking at small advantages
prevents great affairs from being accomplished.
Wilson Mizner

The worst-tempered people I've ever met were the people who knew they were wrong.
Wilson Mizner

The only sure thing about luck is that it will change.
Wilson Mizner

I've had ample contact with lawyers, and I'm convinced that the only fortune they ever leave
is their own.
Wilson Mizner

The best way to keep your friends is not to give them away.
Wilson Mizner

It is not in life, but in art that self-fulfillment is to be found.
Wilson Mizner

A drama critic is a person who surprises the playwright by informing him what he meant.
Wilson Mizner

I can usually judge a fellow by what he laughs at.
Wilson Mizner

I've spent several years in Hollywood, and I still think the movie heroes are in the audience.
Wilson Mizner

Treat a whore like a lady and a lady like a whore.
Wilson Mizner

Life's a tough proposition, and the first hundred years are the hardest.
Wilson Mizner

The cuckoo who is on to himself is halfway out of the clock.
Wilson Mizner

If you count all your assets you always show a profit.
Wilson Mizner

Most hard-boiled people are half-baked.
Wilson Mizner

To my embarrassment I was born in bed with a lady.
Wilson Mizner

In the battle of existence, talent is the punch; tact is the clever footwork.
Wilson Mizner

I'd rather know a square guy than own a square mile.
Wilson Mizner

A slave has but one master. An ambition man, has as many as there are people who helped
him get his fortune.
Wilson Mizner

There's nothing so comfortable as a small bankroll. A big one is always in danger.
Wilson Mizner

To profit from good advice requires more wisdom than to give it.
Wilson Mizner

Gambling: The sure way of getting nothing for something.
Wilson Mizner