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Will Rogers quotes page 1

1879 - 1935, American comedian and actor

Live so that you wouldn't be ashamed to sell the family parrot to the town gossip.
Will Rogers

I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.
Will Rogers

The difference between death and taxes is death doesn't get worse every time Congress
meets.
Will Rogers

Diplomacy is the art of saying "nice doggie" until you can find a rock.
Will Rogers

Diplomats are just as essential to starting a war as soldiers are for finishing it.
Will Rogers

We don't seem able to check crime, so why not legalize it and then tax it out of business?
Will Rogers

Buy land. They ain't making any more of the stuff.
Will Rogers

If pro is the opposite of con, what is the opposite of Congress?
Will Rogers

When newspapers knock a man a lot, there is sure to be a lot of good in him.
Will Rogers

If you want to be successful, it's just this simple. Know what you are doing. Love what you
are doing. And believe in what you are doing.
Will Rogers

If you find yourself in a hole, stop digging.
Will Rogers

The minute you read something that you can't understand, you can almost be sure that it
was drawn up by a lawyer.
Will Rogers

The problem ain't what people know. It's what people know that ain't so that's the problem.
Will Rogers

Confucius perspired out more knowledge than the U. S. Senate has vocalized out in the last
50 years.
Will Rogers

Every war has been preceded by a peace conference. That's what always starts the next
war.
Will Rogers

Always drink upstream from the herd.
Will Rogers

A fool and his money are soon elected.
Will Rogers

The short memories of the American voters is what keeps our politicians in office.
Will Rogers

They want peace. But they want a gun to get it with.
Will Rogers

There are three kinds of men: The ones that learns by reading. The few who learn by
observation. The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence for themselves.
Will Rogers

No man can be condemned for owning a dog. As long as he's got a dog he's got a friend and
the poorer he gets the better friend he has.
Will Rogers

Plans get you into things but you've got to work your way out.
Will Rogers

Popularity is the easiest thing in the world to gain and it is the hardest thing to hold.
Will Rogers

Every nation must have its legalized form of gambling. We have our Wall Street.
Will Rogers

I have a scheme for stopping war. It's this: No nation is allowed to enter a war till they have
paid for the last one.
Will Rogers

Trouble with American transportation is that you can get somewhere quicker than you can
think of a reason for going there. What we need now is a new excuse to go somewhere.
Will Rogers

When the Judgment Day comes civilization will have an alibi, "I never took a human life, I only
sold the fellow the gun to take it with."
Will Rogers

Advertising is the art of convincing people to spend money they don't have for something
they don't need.
Will Rogers

We are the first nation to starve to death in a storehouse that's overfilled with everything we
want.
Will Rogers

Everything is changing. People are taking their comedians seriously and the politicians as a
joke.
Will Rogers

The more you observe politics, the more you've got to admit that each party is worse than
the other.
Will Rogers

Common sense ain't common.
Will Rogers

We all can't be heroes, for someone has to sit on the curb and clap as they go by.
Will Rogers

Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.
Will Rogers

Personally, I have always felt the best doctor in the world is the veterinarian. He can't ask
his patients what is the matter - he's got to just know.
Will Rogers

Make crime pay. Become a lawyer.
Will Rogers

I hope some of the men who get the most votes will be elected.
Will Rogers

More men have been elected between sundown and sunup, than ever were elected between
sunup and sundown.
Will Rogers

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