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Weather quotes page 1

Whenever people talk to me about the weather, I always feel certain that they mean
something else.
Oscar Wilde

In India, "cold weather" is merely a phrase to distinguish between weather which will melt a
brass doorknob and weather which only makes it mushy.
Mark Twain

Barometer, n. An ingenious instrument which indicates what kind of weather we are having.
Ambrose Bierce

I don't like all this fresh air. I'm from Los Angeles. I don't trust any air I can't see.
Bob Hope

Don't knock the weather. If it didn't change once in a while, nine out of ten people couldn't
start a conversation.
Kin Hubbard

Your chances of getting hit by lightning go up if you stand under a tree, shake your fist at
the sky, and say, "Storms suck!"
Johnny Carson

Weather forecast for tonight: dark.
George Carlin

We often hear of bad weather, but in reality no weather is bad. It is all delightful, though in
different ways. Some weather may be bad for farmers or crops, but for man all kinds are
good. Sunshine is delicious, rain is refreshing, wind braces us up, snow is exhilarating.
John Lubbock

Canada's climate is nine months of winter and three months late in the fall.
Evan Esar

Winter is nature's way of saying, "Up yours!"
Robert Byrne

Climate is what you expect, weather is what you get.
Robert A. Heinlein

Last night my wife said the weather outside was fit for neither man nor beast, so we both
stayed home.
Henry Youngman

I don't desire to change anything in England except the weather.
Oscar Wilde

I put my air conditioner in backwards. It got cold outside. The weatherman on TV was
confused. "It was supposed to be hot today."
Steven Wright

Yes, London! You know... fish, chips, cup o' tea, bad food, worse weather,
Mary-fucking-Poppins. London!
Snatch, Dennis Farina

A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining and wants it back
the minute it begins to rain.
Mark Twain

It's so cold in New York City. Today in Central Park, I saw a squirrel salting his nuts.
David Letterman

Delicious autumn! My very soul is wedded to it, and if I were a bird I would fly about the
earth seeking the successive autumns.
George Eliot

Everyone can navigate in fine weather.
Italian proverb

One must maintain a little bittle of summer, even in the middle of winter.
Henry David Thoreau

I doubt there's ever been a true thing said on Fox. Maybe the weather report, maybe not.
Fran Lebowitz

March is the month that shows people who don't drink exactly how a hangover feels.
Garrison Keillor

You don't need a weatherman to know which way the wind blows.
Bob Dylan

How do the men who drive the snowplough get to work in the morning?
Steven Wright

Save a boyfriend for a rainy day and another in case it doesn't.
Mae West

It was such a lovely day that it seemed a pity to get up.
William Somerset Maugham

Sorrow and ill weather come unsent for.
Scottish proverb

Our natural tendency in the middle of winter is to avoid the elements as much as possible.
When the weather turns frigid, we retreat inside for survival and wait for it to warm up or for
the season to change. In a winter marriage, there may be a similar tendency to "avoid the
elements." Spouses may withdraw within themselves, hunkering down and trying to ride out
the cold season, hoping for spring but not taking any positive steps to move their marriage
toward spring. However, unlike the natural seasons, the seasons of a marriage do not
typically change without some positive action - unless it's a change from bad to worse.
Gary Chapman

The sun goes down earlier for small people.

Spring is nature's way of saying: "Let's party!"
Robin Williams

It's so cold I saw a politician with his hands in his own pockets.
Bob Hope

It always rains on tents. Rainstorms will travel thousands of miles against the prevailing
winds, for the opportunity to rain on a tent.
Dave Barry

In the depth of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer.
Albert Camus

It was so hot today I went to a cash point machine just to enjoy the feel of a cold gun
against the back of my neck.
David Letterman

April is the cruelest month, breeding
lilacs out of the dead land, mixing
memory and desire, stirring
dull roots with spring rain.
T. S. Eliot

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