Top 10 funny quotes

1. Women don't want to hear what you think. Women want to hear  what they think -
in a deeper voice.
Bill Cosby

2. You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is
a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America's Cup, France
is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn't want to go to war, and the three most
powerful men in America are named "Bush", "Dick", and "Colin." Need I say more?
Chris Rock

3. Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant? I'm halfway through my fishburger and I
realize, Oh my God... I could be eating a slow learner.
Lynda Montgomery

4. I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
Groucho Marx

5. I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw that my bath toys were a toaster and a radio.
Joan Rivers

6. Is that a gun in your pocket or are you just glad to see me ?
Mae West

7. If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button.
Sam Levenson

8. A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining and wants it back
the minute it begins to rain.
Mark Twain

9. The Americans will always do the right thing... after they've exhausted all the alternatives.
Winston Churchill

10. If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the
principal difference between a dog and a man.
Mark Twain

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