Susan Jeffers quotes page 1
American author and public speaker
You can handle all your fears without having to control anything in the outside world.
The most important thing is for you to be your own best friend. Whatever you are doing -
don't put yourself down. Slowly begin to discover which, for you, is the path of the heart.
Which path in life will make you grow? That is the path to take.
Not only am I going to experience fear whenever I'm on on unfamiliar territory, but so is
everyone else. I said to myself: "You mean all those people out there that I've been envying
because they're not afraid to move ahead with their lives have really been afraid? Why didn't
somebody tell me!?" I guess I never asked.
You might already have been asking yourself, "Why should I put myself through all the
discomfort that comes with taking risks? Why don't I just go on living my life the way I've
been living it?" You might find my answer to that question surprising. It is: Pushing through
fear is less frightening than living with the underlying circumstances that come from a feeling
The bigger your life, the smaller your fear.
You may be surprised and encouraged to learn that while inability to deal with fear may look
and feel like a psychological problem, in most cases it isn't. I believe it is primarily an
educational problem, and that by re-educating the mind, you can accept fear as simply a
fact of life rather than a barrier to success.
Call someone you are intimidated to call, buy a pair of shoes that costs more than you would
ever have paid in the past, ask for something you want that you have been too frightened to
ask for before. Take a risk a day - one small or bold stroke that will make you feel great once
you have done it.
I know that some fear is instinctual and healthy and keeps us alert to trouble. The rest - the
part that holds us back from personal growth - is inappropriate and destructive, and perhaps
can be blamed on our conditioning.
Say YES to life. Participate. Move. Act. Write. Read. Sign up. Take a stand. Or do whatever
it takes for you. Get involved in the process. As Rollo May wrote in Man's Search for Himself:
"Every organism has one and only one central need in life, to fulfill its own potentialities."
When we give from a place of love, rather than from a place of expectation, more usually
comes back to us than we could ever have imagined.
The only way to get rid of the fear of doing something is to go out and do it.
Whenever we take a chance and enter unfamiliar territory or put ourselves into the world in a
new way, we experience fear. Very often this fear keeps us from moving ahead with our lives.
The trick is to feel the fear and do it anyway.
Are you a "victim," or are you taking responsibility for your life? ... Taking responsibility means
never blaming anyone else for anything you are being, doing, having or feeling.
If we do not consciously and consistently focus on the spiritual part of ourselves, we will
never experience the kind of joy, satisfaction, safety, and connectedness we are all seeking.
Taking responsibility means handling the Chatterbox. This is the little voice inside, the voice
that tries to drive you crazy - and often succeeds! ... if you are not aware of your
Chatterbox, it sounds something like this: If I call him maybe he'll think I'm too pushy, but
maybe if I don't call him, he'll think I'm not interested. But if I call him and his message
machine is on I'll wonder where he is and it will ruin my whole evening because I'll know he's
out with another woman, but if I don't call him I'll wonder anyway. Maybe I shouldn't go out
tonight. He might call and then he'll think I don't care. But if I'll call he'll really... No wonder so
many of us hate being alone and can't be in a room without turning on the radio or television
for company. Anything to escape such insanity!
All you have to do to find a way out of your self-imposed prison is to retrain your thinking.
Start thinking about yourself as a lifetime student at a large university. Your curriculum is
your total relationship with the world you live in, from the moment you're born to the moment
you die. Each experience is a valuable lesson to be learned.
The world is filled with people who have been handed the "worst" life has to offer... and they
have come out winners!
I can't stress enough that positive thinking needs daily practice. I've been practicing it for
years and still spend some time each day focusing on the elimination of negativity from my
This one is really tough! See if you can go one week without criticizing anyone or complaining
about anything. You will be surprised how difficult this is. You will also be surprised to learn
how much complaining and criticizing you do.
The less you need someone's approval, the more you are able to love them.
Once you get your body in shape, you can't stop working out. Within a short ime your
muscles start losing tone, and where you once could do 50 sit-ups, 20 is now your maximum.
You must keep at it. The intellect acts in the same way. When problem solving, stimulating
discussion or reading is a part of your daily life, your mind is sharp. After a two-week
vacation of lounging on the beach, your brain feels soggy.
If you haven't made any mistakes lately, you must be doing something wrong.
Always phrase affirmations in the positive, rather than the negative:
Wrong: I am no longer putting myself down.
Right: I am becoming more confident every day.
Many of us spend our lives waiting - waiting for the perfect mate, waiting for the perfect job,
waiting for perfect friends to come along. There is no need to wait for anyone to give you
anything in your life. You have the power to create what you need. Given commitment, clear
goals and action, it's just a matter of time.
You're not a failure if you don't make it; you're a success because you try.