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Shopping quotes page 1

The only time a woman has a true orgasm is when she is shopping.
Joan Rivers

It's a problem being beautiful. It's only the handsome men that ask us out because they're
the only ones who think they have a chance. And handsome men are dolts. Life is unfair to
us. At some point we have to face the certain reality: Despite all the good the world seems
to offer, true happiness can only be found in one thing - shopping.
Ally McBeal, 1997

I buy expensive suits. They just look cheap on me.
Warren Buffet

I had my credit card stolen, but I didn't report it because whoever stole it is spending less
than my wife.
Henry Youngman

I love to shop after a bad relationship. I buy a new outfit and it makes me feel better.
Sometimes when I see a really great outfit, I'll break up with someone on purpose.
Rita Rudner

Too many people spend money they haven't earned, to buy things they don't want, to impress people they don't like.
Will Smith

Shopping is a woman thing. It's a contact sport like football. Women enjoy the scrimmage,
the noisy crowds, the danger of being trampled to death, and the ecstasy of the purchase.
Erma Bombeck

At the bank, post office or supermarket, there is one universal law which you ignore at your
own peril: the shortest line moves the slowest.
Bill Vaughan

Anyone who believes the competitive spirit in America is dead has never been in a supermarket when the cashier opens another checkout line.
Ann Landers

My wife has a black belt in shopping.
Henry Youngman

In theory, taxes should be like shopping. What I buy is government services. What I pay are
my taxes.
P. J. O'Rourke

A bargain is something you can't use at a price you can't resist.
Franklin P. Jones

My last credit card bill was so big, before I opened it I actually heard a drum roll.
Rita Rudner

Buying something on sale is a special feeling. In fact, the less I pay for something, the more
it's worth to me. I have a dress that I paid so little for that I am afraid to wear it. I could spill
something on it and then how would I replace it for that amount of money?
Rita Rudner

The odds of going to the store for a loaf of bread and coming out with only a loaf of bread are
three billion to one.
Erma Bombeck

Bart, with $10,000, we'd be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like... love!
Homer Simpson

Do a No Shopping challenge. Determine your worst clutter category - such as clothes, books,
kitchen ware, or electronics - and don't buy another such item for a set period of time (a
month, six months, or even a year). Stopping the flow of stuff into your house is just as
important as decluttering!
Francine Jay

Once again, we come to the Holiday Season, a deeply religious time that each of us observes,
in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice.
Dave Barry

If the ingredients for happiness are not within a person, no material success or entertainment
or platinum credit cards can make that person smile.
Og Mandino

Our "desire to acquire" won't bring us true joy. So why is it so hard to escape wanting more?
Because Madison Avenue doesn't want us to. Advertising exists to perpetuate the Myth of
More; it's the engine that drives our economy.
Marci Shimoff

Why would anyone steal a shopping cart? It's like stealing a two-year-old.
Erma Bombeck

My boyfriend used to say, "I read Playboy for the articles." Right, and I go to shopping malls
for the music.
Rita Rudner

My wife loves to shop at Bloomingdale's. I bring her mail there twice a week.
Henry Youngman

Thank God we're living in a country where the sky's the limit, the stores are open late and you
can shop in bed thanks to television.
Joan Rivers

We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
Henry Youngman

Do you ever look around your house, at all the things you've bought and inherited and been
given, and feel overwhelmed instead of overjoyed? Are you struggling with credit card debt,
and can barely recall the purchases on which you're making payments? Do you secretly wish
a gale force wind would blow the clutter out of your home, leaving you an opportunity for a
fresh start? If so, then a minimalist lifestyle may well be your salvation.
Francine Jay

Oh, for the good old days when people would stop Christmas shopping when they ran out of
money!
Anon

I hate when they call up to check if your credit card is good. I always feel like they're talking
about me. "You won't believe what he's buying now. It's some kind of yellow thing. I don't
even know what it is. Never sold one before."
Jerry Seinfeld

The advertising industry and Hollywood have done a wonderful job conditioning us to believe
that wealth and hyperconsumption go hand in hand.
Thomas J. Stanley

For most of us, debt can be a trap that forces us to work longer than we should have to.
What puts us into debt are bad habits such as running up balances on our credit cards and
then paying them down slowly, if at all.
David Bach

You never wanna owe moey you can't pay. I'm basically against debt. I think the average
individual will live a lot happier in life if they avoid... they surely ought to avoid credit card
debt. There's no reason in the world to pay 18% for my... I can't make money paying 18% for
money.
Warren Buffett

My wife had plastic surgery. I cut up all her credit cards.
Henny Youngman

Buy what you don't have yet, or what you really want, which can be mixed with what you
already own. Buy only because something excites you, not just for the simple act of shopping.
Karl Lagerfeld

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