Sex quotes page 4
My girlfriend always giggles during sex. No matter what she's reading.
There will always be a battle between the sexes because men and women want different
things. Men want women and women want men.
I need sex for a clear complexion, but I'd rather do it for love.
To succeed with the opposite sex, tell her you're impotent. She can't wait to disprove it.
I only take Viagra when I'm with more than one woman.
Erotic is when you use a feather. Kinky is when you use the whole chicken.
A man has missed something if he has never left a brothel at dawn feeling like throwing
himself into the river out of sheer disgust with life.
All human beings connect sex and love - except for men.
Food has replaced sex in my life, now I can't even get into my own pants.
I admit, I have a tremendous sex drive. My boyfriend lives forty miles away.
My own belief is that there is hardly anyone whose sexual life, if it were broadcast, would not
fill the world at large with surprise and horror.
William Somerset Maugham
He's so generous, he'll go out, get two blowjobs, come back and give you one of them.
A man not honorable in his marital relations is not usually honorable in any other.
If you want to get laid, go to college. If you want an education, go to the library.
If you're a young male, you live in a sexual tyranny anyway. You could be in a car crash,
lying in a ditch, thinking, "What is the erotic twist of this situation?"
Is your vagina listed in the New York City guidebooks? Because it should be. Hottest spot in
town. Always open!
Sex and the City, Charlotte York
Foreplay is like beefburgers - three minutes on each side.
The thing women like most in bed is breakfast.
The only thing we don't have a god for is premature ejaculation... but I hear that it's coming
Women are never disarmed by compliments. Men always are. That is the difference
between the sexes.
Oh yes, I've tried my hand at sex.
I haven't left my house in days. I watch the news channels incessantly. All the news stories
are about the election; all the commercials are Viagra and Cialis. Election, erection, election,
erection! Either way we're screwed!
I like my beer cold, my TV loud and my homosexuals flaming.
Eroticism is one of the basic means of self-knowledge, as indispensible as poetry.
I have so little sex appeal my gynaecologist examines me by telephone.
Being a woman is of special interest only to aspiring male transsexuals. To actual women, it is
simply a good excuse not to play football.
I don't see what the big deal is about same-sex marriage. Every married couple I know has
the same sex all the time.
When a man goes on a date, he wonders if he is going to get lucky. A woman already knows.
Sex is... perfectly natural. It's something that's pleasurable. It's enjoyable and it enhances a
relationship. So why don't we learn as much as we can about it and become comfortable with
ourselves as sexual human beings because we are all sexual?
Now that I'm 78, I do tantric sex because it's very slow. My favourite position is called the
plumber. You stay in all day but nobody comes.
Sex and golf are the only things you can enjoy without being any good at them.
Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but he never forgets oral
sex, no matter how bad it is.
I think it is funny that we were freer about sexuality in the 4th century B.C. It is a little
There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic
reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe swelling. So what's the problem?
Easy is an adjective used to describe a woman who has the sexual morals of a man.
I once made love to a female clown. She twisted my penis into a poodle.
Who is this Greek chap Clitoris they're talking about?
I have so much cybersex, my baby's first words will probably be, "You've got mail."