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Sex quotes page 2

I get laid on purpose. I can't sleep before a competition and I'm up all night, anyway, so
instead of staring at the ceiling I figure I might as well find somebody and fuck... we had girls
backstage giving head, then all of us went out and I won. It didn't bother me at all - in fact,
I went out there feeling like King Kong.
Arnold Schwarzenegger

I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. He was healthy right up to
the time he killed himself.
Johnny Carson

Without virtue, man is most unholy and savage, and worst in regard to sex and eating.
Aristotle

Sex is like washing your face - just something you do because you have to. Sex without love
is absolutely ridiculous. Sex follows love, it never precedes it.
Sophia Loren

The difference between sex and love is that sex relieves tension and love causes it.
Woody Allen

If sex is such a natural phenomenon, how come there are so many books on how to do it?
Bette Midler

I believe that sex is the most beautiful, natural, and wholesome thing that money can buy.
Steve Martin

Seems to me the basic conflict between men and women, sexually, is that men are like
firemen. To men, sex is an emergency, and no matter what we're doing we can be ready in
two minutes. Women, on the other hand, are like fire. They're very exciting, but the
conditions have to be exactly right for it to occur.
Jerry Seinfeld

Personally, I know nothing about sex, because I have always been married.
Zsa Zsa Gabor

Sex is not a mechanical act that fails for lack of technique, and it is not a performance by
the male for the audience of the female; it is a continuum of attraction that extends from the
simplest conversation and the most innocent touching through the act of coitus.
Garrison Keillor

My wife wants sex in the back of the car and she wants me to drive.
Rodney Dangerfield

Having great wealth is one of the most disappointing things. It's overrated, I can tell you
that. It's not as good as average sex.
Ted Turner

Orgies: participate once, you're a philosopher; twice, a pervert.
Voltaire

Courtroom for Ted Bundy's trial is packed with women, trying to meet him and give him love
letters and wedding fucking proposals... and the first thought that enters my mind is, "And
I'm not getting laid." What am I doing wrong?
Bill Hicks

Sex is part of nature. I go along with nature.
Marilyn Monroe

The sexual life of adult women is a dark continent for psychology.
Sigmund Freud

Sex is logically impossible after marriage. You have to overcome the paradox of "Not this
again," and "Hey, where did you learn that?"
Emo Philips

Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.
George Burns

After being alive, the next hardest work is having sex. Of course, for some people it isn't work
because they need the exercise and they've got the energy for the sex and the sex gives
them even more energy. Some people get energy from sex and some people lose energy from
sex. I have found that it's too much work. But if you have the time for it, and if you need
that exercise - then you should do it.
Andy Warhol

The first two facts which a healthy boy or girl feels about sex are these: First that it is
beautiful and then that it is dangerous.
G. K. Chesterton

Sex: In America an obsession. In other parts of the world a fact.
Marlene Dietrich

There is more to sex appeal than just measurements. I don't need a bedroom to prove my
womanliness. I can convey just as much sex appeal, picking apples off a tree or standing in
the rain.
Audrey Hepburn

Sex is interesting, but it's not totally important. I mean it's not even as important as
excretion. A man can go seventy years without a piece of ass, but he can die in a week
without a bowel movement.
Charles Bukowski

Some things are better than sex, and some are worse, but there's nothing exactly like it.
W. C. Fields

As selfishness and complaint pervert and cloud the mind, so sex with its joy clears and
sharpens the vision.
Helen Keller

A survey asked married women when they most want to have sex. 84 per cent of them said
right after their husband is finished.
Jay Leno

My sex life is now reduced to fan letters from an elderly lesbian who wants to borrow $800.
Groucho Marx

Someone told me the delightful story of the crusader who put a chastity belt on his wife and
gave the key to his best friend for safekeeping, in case of his death. He had ridden only a
few miles away when his friend, riding hard, caught up with him, saying "You gave me the
wrong key!"
Anais Nin

Nowadays I reserve my sexual activities for special occasions such as the installation of a
new pope.
Dave Barry

My wife is a sex object. Every time I ask for sex, she objects.
Les Dawson

According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable undressing in front of men
than they do undressing in front of other women. They say that women are too judgmental,
where, of course, men are just grateful.
Robert De Niro

The three words you don't want to hear, while you're making love are, "Honey, I'm home."
Ken Hammond

I'm dating a homeless woman. It was easier talking her into staying over.
Gary Shandling

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