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Sam Levenson quotes

1911 - 1980, American comedian

If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button.
Sam Levenson

It's simple to be wise. Just think of something stupid to say and say the opposite.
Sam Levenson

You must learn from the mistakes of others. You can't possibly live long enough to make them
all yourself.
Sam Levenson

One of the virtues of being very young is that you don't let the facts get in the way of your
imagination.
Sam Levenson

Happiness is a by-product. You cannot pursue it by itself.
Sam Levenson

It was on my fifth birthday that Papa put his hand on my shoulder and said, "Remember, my
son, if you ever need a helping hand, you'll find one at the end of your arm."
Sam Levenson

Any kid who has two parents who are interested in him and has a houseful of books isn't
poor.
Sam Levenson

I'm going to stop putting things off, starting tomorrow.
Sam Levenson

If you want to know how your girl will treat you after marriage, just listen to her talking to
her little brother.
Sam Levenson

You must pay for your sins. If you have already paid, please ignore this notice.
Sam Levenson

The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the
way she combs her hair. The beauty of a woman must be seen from in her eyes, because
that is the doorway to her heart, the place where love resides.
Sam Levenson

Don't watch the clock. Do what it does - keep going!
Sam Levenson

It's a good thing that when God created the rainbow he didn't consult a decorator or he
would still be picking colors.
Sam Levenson

When I was a boy I used to do what my father wanted. Now I have to do what my boy
wants. My problem is: When am I going to do what I want?
Sam Levenson

The reason grandparents and grandchildren get along so well is that they have a common
enemy.
Sam Levenson

Many wise words are spoken in jest, but they don't compare with the number of stupid words
spoken in earnest.
Sam Levenson

Love at first sight is easy to understand. It's when two people have been looking at each
other for years that it becomes a miracle.
Sam Levenson

The simplest toy, one which even the youngest child can operate, is called a grandparent.
Sam Levenson