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Roseanne Barr quotesborn November 3, 1952; American actress, producer and comedian
Men read maps better than women because only a male mind could conceive of an inch
Women complain about premenstrual syndrome, but I think of it as the only time of the month You may marry the man of your dreams, but fourteen years later, you're married to a couch People say to me, "You're not very feminine." Well, they can just suck my dick. If it wasn't for gay men, fat women would have no one to dance with. People are so rude to smokers. You'd think they'd try to be nicer to people who are dying. I've quit smoking. I feel better, I smell better, and it's safer to drink out of old beer cans I like kinky sex with chocolate. I call it S&M&M. Women are cursed, and men are the proof. I do a lot of reading about serial killers, mostly How To books. When I get a lot of tension and headaches, I do what it says on the aspirin bottle: take two The fastest way to a man's heart is through his chest. Did you hear about the woman who stabbed her husband 37 times? I admire her restraint. I love my kids. Of course, I'd trade any one of them for a dishwasher. The way I figure it, whenn my husband comes home from work, if the kids are still alive, I've I made my first million the old-fashioned way. I made a hundred million for somebody else. Experts say you should never hit your children in anger. When is a good time? When you're I approach reading reviews the way some people anticipate anal warts. I got real nervous about my health so I started smoking again - 'cause I need something to Becoming a grandmother is great fun because you can use the kid to get back at your All human beings connect sex and love - except for men. Excuse the mess, but we live here. Those who can, do. Those who can't, teach. Those who can't teach, teach gym. Those who They say that lesbians hate men, but why on earth would a lesbian hate men? They don't I'm not upset about my divorce. I'm only upset I'm not a widow. I know how to do anything - I'm a mom. I'm fat and proud of it. If someone asks me how my diet is going, I say. "Fine, how was your That's what's wrong with the world right now - old men on Viagra, doing what they shouldn't My husband said he needed more space. So I locked him outside. I asked the sales assistant in the clothing store if she had anything to make me look thinner, There's only one way to look thin - hang out with fat people. I consider myself to be a pretty good judge of people... that's why I don't like any of them. I will clean the house when Sears comes out with a riding vacuum cleaner. A good man doesn't just happen. They have to be created by us women. A guy is a lump like To expect life to treat you good is foolish as hoping a bull won't hit you because you are a If things get worse, I'll have to ask you to stop helping me. If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would have put them on my knees. Women should try to increase their size rather than decrease it, because I believe the bigger I don't call myself a feminist. I call myself a killer bitch. You wanna hear my personal opinion on prostitution? If men knew how to do it, they wouldn't I screamed a lot, but it was that or firearms. The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take it. It's okay to be fat. So you're fat. Just be fat and shut up about it. Do men who like to dress up as women find they can no longer parallel park? |
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