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Rita Rudner quotes page 3

Los Angeles is a very transient town. It's the only place I know where you can actually rent a
dog.
Rita Rudner

My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to.
Rita Rudner

The word "aerobics" came about when the gym instructors got together and said: If we're
going to charge $10 an hour, we can't call it jumping up and down.
Rita Rudner

A good place to meet a man is the dry cleaner's. These men usually have jobs and bathe.
Rita Rudner

At the end of every year, I add up the time that I have spent on the phone on hold and
subtract it from my age. I don't count that time as really living. By the time I die, I'm going to
be quite young.
Rita Rudner

How come when you mix water and flour together you get glue. And then you add eggs and
sugar and you get cake? Where does the glue go?
Rita Rudner

As far as I know, a single man has never vacuumed behind a couch.
Rita Rudner

My friend is so into recycling, she insists on marrying a man who's been married before.
Rita Rudner

One of my friends told me she was in labour for 36 hours. I don't even want to do anything
that feels good for 36 hours.
Rita Rudner

My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to.
Rita Rudner

If a man says, "I'll call you," and he doesn't, he didn't forget, he didn't lose your number, he
didn't die. He just didn't want to call you.
Rita Rudner

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