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P. J. O'Rourke quotes page 3

In painting a ceiling, a good rule of thumb is that there should be at least as much paint on
the ceiling as on your hair.
P. J. O'Rourke

Remember, your body needs 6 to 8 glasses of fluid daily. Straight up or on the rocks.
P. J. O'Rourke

I've always figured that if God wanted us to go to church a lot He'd have given us bigger
behinds to sit on and smaller heads to think with.
P. J. O'Rourke

Jewishness cropped up and has never successfully been put down since.
P. J. O'Rourke

There is no way of vomiting courteous. You have to do the next best thing, which is to vomit
in such a way that the story you tell about it later will be amusing.
P. J. O'Rourke

The French are masters of "the dog ate my homework" school of diplomatic relations.
P. J. O'Rourke

Foreigners may pretend otherwise, but if English is spoken loudly enough, anyone can
understand it, the British included. Actually, there's no such thing as a foreign language. The
world is just filled with people who grunt and squeak instead of speaking sensibly. French may
be an exception. But since it's impossible to figure out what French people are saying, we'll
never know for sure.
P. J. O'Rourke

A hat should be taken off when you greet a lady and left off for the rest of your life. Nothing
looks more stupid than a hat.
P. J. O'Rourke

Automobiles are free of egotism, passion, prejudice and stupid ideas about where to have
dinner. They are, literally, selfless. A world designed for automobiles instead of people would
have wider streets, larger dining rooms, fewer stairs to climb and no smelly, dangerous
subway stations.
P. J. O'Rourke

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