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Ogden Nash quotes

1902 - 1971, American poet

To keep your marriage brimming, with love in the wedding cup, whenever you're wrong, admit
it; whenever you're right, shut up.
Ogden Nash

People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up.
Ogden Nash

Oh, what a tangled web do parents weave when they think that their children are naive.
Ogden Nash

A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband.
Ogden Nash

Women would rather be right than reasonable.
Ogden Nash

People who have what they want are fond of telling people who haven't what they want that
they really don't want it.
Ogden Nash

I have an idea that the phrase weaker sex was coined by some woman to disarm the man
she was preparing to overwhelm.
Ogden Nash

Happiness is having a scratch for every itch.
Ogden Nash

Candy is dandy but liquor is quicker.
Ogden Nash

There is only one way to achieve happiness on this terrestrial ball, and that is to have either
a clear conscience or none at all.
Ogden Nash

You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely.
Ogden Nash

Life begins at the end of your comfort zone.
Ogden Nash

Middle age is when you're sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and
you hope it isn't for you.
Ogden Nash

One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.
Ogden Nash

I do not like to get the news, because there has never been an era when so many things
were going so right for so many of the wrong persons.
Ogden Nash

The only people who should really sin are the people who can sin and grin.
Ogden Nash

Too clever is dumb.
Ogden Nash

Progress might have been alright once, but it has gone on too long.
Ogden Nash

A husband is a guy who tells you when you've got on too much lipstick and helps you with
your girdle when your hips stick.
Ogden Nash

Children aren't happy with nothing to ignore,
and that's what parents are created for.
Ogden Nash

Door: What a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of.
Ogden Nash

God in His wisdom made the fly, and then forgot to tell us why.
Ogden Nash