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Mark Twain quotes page 1

Mark Twain was born Samuel Langhorne Clemens, he adopted Mark Twain as his pen name. He was born November 30, 1835. He is considered one of America's timeless authors. He had one older brother named Orion whom he idolized and eventually followed out west where he made his fame. An interesting fact about Mr. Clemens is that he was born on the day Hailey's Comet passed the earth. He often joked that upon Hailey's Comet's return 75 years later that he would be leaving with it. He died the day after Hailey's Comet returned on April 21 1910! His Huckleberry Finn and Tom Sawyer tales still captures the imagination of anyone that reads these books. Samuel grew up in Mississippi and used it as the back drop for his most famous books. His very first attempt at writing got international critical acclaim, "The Celebrated Jumping Frog of Calaveras County." The short tale became so popular that it was translated into Greek which was unheard of in those days. Samuel did not begin his writing career until attempting and failing at several others including a riverboat captain on the Mississippi and a miner. He often told stories and wrote them down about his travels and career moves. His ability to write was only exceeded by his ability to make people smile with his sense of humor. He was friends with presidents and dignitaries who enjoyed his satire and company. He is often called the Father of American Literature.

Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest.
Mark Twain

Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.
Mark Twain

The proper office of a friend is to side with you when you are in the wrong. Nearly anbody will
side with you when you are right.
Mark Twain

Go to heaven for the climate and hell for the company.
Mark Twain

It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and
remove all doubt.
Mark Twain

Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits.
Mark Twain

If you don't read the newspaper, you're uninformed. If you read the newspaper, you're mis-
informed.
Mark Twain

The church is always trying to get other people to reform; it might not be a bad idea to
reform itself a little by way of example.
Mark Twain

If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
Mark Twain

The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like,
and do what you'd druther not.
Mark Twain

There are several good protections against temptation, but the surest is cowardice.
Mark Twain

Why waste your money looking up your family tree? Just go into politics and your opponent
will do it for you.
Mark Twain

A habit cannot be tossed out the window; it must be coaxed down the stairs a step at a
time.
Mark Twain

What is the difference between a taxidermist and a tax collector?
The taxidermist takes only your skin.
Mark Twain

God created war so that Americans would learn geography.
Mark Twain

Part of the secret of success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside.
Mark Twain

Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been.
Mark Twain

In India, "cold weather" is merely a phrase to distinguish between weather which will melt a
brass doorknob and weather which only makes it mushy.
Mark Twain

There are two times in a man's life when he should not speculate: when he can't afford it,
and when he can.
Mark Twain

I like a thin book because it will steady a table; a leather volume because it will strop a razor;
and a heavy book because it can be thrown at a cat.
Mark Twain

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than
by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch
the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.
Mark Twain

The exercise of an extraordinary gift is the supremest pleasure in life.
Mark Twain

That's the difference between governments and individuals. Governments don't care,
individuals do.
Mark Twain

You can straighten a worm, but the crook is in him and only waiting.
Mark Twain

Do good when you can, and charge when you think they will stand it.
Mark Twain

There's one way to find out if a man is honest: ask him; if he says yes, you know he's crooked.
Mark Twain

No woman or man really knows what perfect love is until they have been married a quarter of
a century.
Mark Twain

Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear.
Mark Twain

Kindness is a language which the deaf can hear and the blind can read.
Mark Twain

Always acknowledge a fault frankly. This will throw those in authority off their guard and give
you opportunity to commit more.
Mark Twain

I have been on the verge of being an angel all my life, but it's never happened yet.
Mark Twain

Of all the animals, man is the only one that is cruel. He is the only one that inflicts pain for
the pleasure of doing it.
Mark Twain

Good friends, good books, and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.
Mark Twain

In a good bookroom you feel in some mysterious way that you are absorbing the wisdom
contained in all the books through your skin, without even opening them.
Mark Twain

When people do not respect us we are sharply offended; yet in his private heart no man much
respects himself.
Mark Twain

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