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Josh Billings quotes page 1

1818 - 1885, American author and humorist

The best advice I was ever given was on my twenty-first birthday when my father said,
"Son, here's a million dollars. Don't lose it."
Josh Billings

The world can never be considered educated until we spend as much on books as we do on
chewing gum.
Josh Billings

As scarce as truth is, the supply has always been in excess of the demand.
Josh Billings

Life consists not in holding good cards but in playing those you hold well.
Josh Billings

Love looks through a telescope; envy, through a microscope.
Josh Billings

Genius after all ain't anything more then elegant common sense.
Josh Billings

It is much easier to repent of sins we have committed than to repent of sins we intend to
commit.
Josh Billings

The best time for you to hold your tongue is the time you feel you must say something or
bust.
Josh Billings

Never work before breakfast; if you have to work before breakfast, eat your breakfast first.
Josh Billings

Marrying for love may be a bit risky, but it is so honest that God can't help but smile on it.
Josh Billings

A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself.
Josh Billings

Experience is a school where a man learns what a big fool he has been.
Josh Billings

Remember the poor, it costs nothing.
Josh Billings

Don't take the bull by the horns, take him by the tail; then you can let go when you want to.
Josh Billings

Laughter is the sensation of feeling good all over and showing it principally in one place.
Josh Billings

There's a great power in words, if you don't hitch too many of them together.
Josh Billings

There is no revenge so complete as forgiveness.
Josh Billings

Man is my brother, and I am nearer related to him through his vices than I am through his
virtue.
Josh Billings

If you do not know how to lie, cheat, and steal - turn your attention to politics and learn.
Josh Billings

Better make a weak man your enemy than your friend.
Josh Billings

Men of genius are like eagles, they live on what they kill, while men of talents are like crows,
they live on what has been killed for them.
Josh Billings

Solitude is a good place to visit but a poor place to stay.
Josh Billings

Don't put off till tomorrow what can be enjoyed today.
Josh Billings

Lying is like trying to hide in a fog: If you move about you're in danger of bumping your head
against the truth, and as soon as the fog blows off, you are gone anyhow.
Josh Billings

Be like a postage stamp - stick to one thing until you get there.
Josh Billings

It ain't often that a man's reputation outlasts his money.
Josh Billings

Debt is a trap which man sets and baits himself, and then deliberately gets into.
Josh Billings

Health is like money, we never have a true idea of its value until we lose it.
Josh Billings

A slander is like a hornet: If you cannot kill it dead at the first blow, better not to strike at it.
Josh Billings

Every man has his follies - and often they are the most interesting thing he has got.
Josh Billings

One-half the troubles of this life can be traced to saying yes too quickly and not saying no
soon enough.
Josh Billings

Music hath charms to soothe the savage beast - but I'd try a revolver first.
Josh Billings

The trouble with most folks isn't their ignorance. It's knowing so many things that ain't so.
Josh Billings

I have lived in this world just long enough to look carefully the second time into things that I
am most certain of the first time.
Josh Billings

Occasions are rare; and those who know how to seize upon them are rarer.
Josh Billings

One of the greatest victories you can gain over someone is to beat him at politeness.
Josh Billings

There are some people so addicted to exaggeration that they can't tell the truth without lying.
Josh Billings

We hate those who will not take our advice, and despise them who do.
Josh Billings

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