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Jack Nicholson quotes

born 22 April 1937, American actor and producer

People who speak in metaphors should shampoo my crotch.
Jack Nicholson

I only take Viagra when I'm with more than one woman.
Jack Nicholson

In this industry, there are only two ways up the ladder. Rung by rung or claw your way to
the top. It's sure been tough on my nails.
Jack Nicholson

I don't want people to know what I'm actually like. It's not good for an actor.
Jack Nicholson

My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch.
Jack Nicholson

If you suck on a tit the movie gets an R rating. If you hack the tit off with an axe it will be
PG.
Jack Nicholson

Loach: What happened to your nose, Gittes? Somebody slammed a bedroom window on it?
Jack Nicholson: Nope. Your wife got excited. She crossed her legs a little too quick. You
understand what I mean, pal?
Jack Nicholson, Chinatown

With my sunglasses on, I'm Jack Nicholson. Without them, I'm fat and 60.
Jack Nicholson

- How do you write women so well?
- I think of a man and I take away reason and accountability.
Jack Nicholson, As Good as it Gets

Age is the first limitation on roles that I've ever had to encounter, and I hit that awhile ago.
Jack Nicholson

When you look at life retrospectively you rarely regret anything that you did, but you might
regret things that you didn't do.
Jack Nicholson

I don't want to be a product of my environment; I want my environment to be a product of
me.
Jack Nicholson, The Departed

Beer, it's the best damn drink in the world.
Jack Nicholson

I hate advice unless I'm giving it. I hate giving advice, because people won't take it.
Jack Nicholson

I know I can act. There aren't too many other jobs I know how to do.
Jack Nicholson

There were points in my life where I felt oddly irresistible to women. I'm not in that state now 
and that makes me sad.
Jack Nicholson

Almost anyone can give a good representative performance when you're unknown. It's just
easier. The real pro game of acting is after you're known - to "un-Jack" that character, in my
case, and get the audience to reinvest in a new and specific, fictional person.
Jack Nicholson

Acting is everybody's favorite second job.
Jack Nicholson

Do you think God knew what He was doing when he created woman?
Jack Nicholson, The Witches of Eastwick

You only lie to two people in your life: your girlfriend and the police. Everybody else you tell
the truth to.
Jack Nicholson

My motto is: more good times.
Jack Nicholson

Once you've been really bad in a movie, there's a certain kind of fearlessness you develop.
Jack Nicholson

Most of the early part of an actor's career, you do the jobs you get.
Jack Nicholson

Played tennis for years. But you can't improve at tennis after you're 50. You get to be in your
40s, and suddenly you're a doubles player.
Jack Nicholson

I'm just your average horny little devil.
Jack Nicholson

I used to think that one of the great signs of security was the ability to just walk away.
Jack Nicholson

I have a lot of vanity.
Jack Nicholson

The next woman who gets hold of me is gonna light up like a pinball machine and pay off in
silver dollars.
Jack Nicholson, One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest

I'm the last guy in the world to feel overlooked by the Academy.
Jack Nicholson

Dave, there are two kinds of angry people - explosive and implosive. Explosive is the type of
individual you see screaming at the cashier for not taking his coupon. Implosive is the cashier
who remains quiet day after day and then finally shoots everyone in the store. You're the
cashier.
Jack Nicholson, Anger Management

I'm content with the fact that I made a decent effort. That's what I've always worried
about: that I wouldn't try hard enough.
Jack Nicholson

A star on a movie set is like a time bomb. That bomb has got to be defused so people can
approach it without fear.
Jack Nicholson

I've been too many places. I'm like the bad penny.
Jack Nicholson

Just let the wardrobe do the acting.
Jack Nicholson

There is no way you can get people to believe you on screen if they know who you really are
through television.
Jack Nicholson

Well, a girlfriend once told me never to fight with anybody you don't love.
Jack Nicholson