Homer Simpson quotes page 1
The Simpsons is an animated, comedy television program created
by Matt Groening and is airing on the Fox channel. The Simpsons is an adult themed parody of a middle class family
living in the fictional town of Springfield. The Simpsons is meant to parody much of the expectations in American
culture and society, highlighting the failings of the human condition. The show was one of Fox's more popular
programs, in 1989 becoming their first series to make it into the Top 30 ratings.The Simpsons follows family
members Homer, Marge, Bart, Lisa and Maggie as they attempt to maneuver life as a dysfunctional family. The show
began as a short sketch comedy but eventually moved into a half hour time slot. The patriarch of the family, Homer,
serves as the stereotypical troubled father and husband. Homer is a drunk, crude and often incompetent father
figure who clumsily navigates his family life. His wife, Marge, serves as the shows moral anchor, extending a
nearly endless patience towards her blustering husband. Together they have three children: the rebellious Bart, the
intellectual middle daughter Lisa and the young Maggie. The Simpsons would become the longest-running sitcom in
America, reaching 25 seasons and over 500 episodes. A number that still remains undefeated. The show was not only
critically popular, but also a huge success financially. The series inspired a full-length film that appeared in
theatres in 2007 and would ultimately gross over $500,000,000. Through its run, the show has received Primetime
Emmys, Annie awards and a Peabody Award.
You can't keep blaming yourself. Just blame yourself once, and move on.
Operator! Give me the number for 911!
When I held that gun in my hand, I felt a surge of power. Like God must feel when he's
holding a gun.
Lisa, if you don't like your job you don't strike. You just go in every day and do it really
half-assed. That's the American way.
I'm going to the back seat of my car, with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten
There's so much I don't know about astrophysics! I wish I read that book by that wheelchair
I won't apologize, Lisa. I'm sorry, but that's just the way that I am.
Always give in to peer pressure.
Old people don't need companionship. They need to be isolated and studied so it can be
determined what nutrients they have that might be extracted for our personal use.
If God didn't want us to eat in church, he would've made gluttony a sin.
What's the point of going out? We're just going to wind up back here anyway.
It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I managed to fit in
eight hours of TV a day.
Bart, you're saying butt-kisser like it's a bad thing!
What religion am I? I'm the one with all the well-meaning rules that don't work out in real
Don't eat me. I have a wife and kids. Eat them.
Remember that postcard Grandpa sent us from Florida of that Alligator biting that woman's
bottom? That's right, we all thought it was hilarious. But, it turns out we were wrong. That
alligator was sexually harrassing that woman.
Now, son, you don't want to drink beer. That's for daddies and kids with fake IDs.
- Homer, are you coming with us to the book fair?
- If it doesn't have Siamese twins in a jar, it's not a fair.
Marge and Homer Simpson
- This deep-fat fryer can flash-fry a buffalo in under 40 seconds.
- 40 seconds? But I want it now!
In High School, I was voted the person most likely to be a mental patient, hillbilly or
- Our benefit show is being held in aid of a very good cause.
- A rest home for pirates?
Bart, with $10,000, we'd be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like... love!
Look! I'm using the original notches that came with my belt!
All right, let's not panic. I'll make the money by selling one of my livers. I can get by with one.
- Homer, is this the way you pictured married life?
- Yeah, pretty much. Ecept we drove around in a van solving mysteries.
Marge and Homer Simpson
- Yeah, sure, for you, a baby's all fun and games. For me, it's diaper changes and midnight
- Doesn't Mom do all that stuff?
- Yeah, but I have to hear about it.
Lisa and Homer Simpson
Don't worry. Being eaten by a crocodile is just like going to sleep - in a giant blender.
- You know, Homer, it's very easy to criticize.
- Fun, too.
Marge and Homer Simpson
Son, when you participate in sporting events, it's not whether you win or lose: It's how drunk
Trying is the first step towards failure.
Sometime, when you least expect it, you'll realize that someone loved you. And that means
that someone can love you again! And that'll make you smile.
Beer - now there's a temporary solution!
Bart, a woman is like beer. They look good, they smell good, and you'd step over your own
mother just to get one!
God bless those pagans.
I think the saddest day of my life was when I realized I could beat my Dad at most things.
Bart experienced that at the age of four.