Your source for famous proverbs
Currently featuring 40,281 quotes and sayings

<< Previous    1  [2]    Next >>

Homer Simpson quotes page 2

Kids are great. You can teach them to hate the things you hate and they practically
raise themselves nowadays, you know, with the Internet and all.
Homer Simpson

You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is never try.
Homer Simpson

I think Smithers picked me because of my motivational skills. Everyone says they have to
work a lot harder when I'm around.
Homer Simpson

Kill my boss? Do I dare live out the American dream?
Homer Simpson

How is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something
new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home wine-making
course, and I forgot how to drive?
Homer Simpson

Television! Teacher, mother, secret lover.
Homer Simpson

Oh, I'm in no condition to drive. Wait a minute. I don't have to listen to myself. I'm drunk.
Homer Simpson

I want to share something with you: the three little sentences that will get you through life.
Number 1: Cover for me. Number 2: Oh, good idea, Boss! Number 3: It was like that when I
got here.
Homer Simpson

Marge, it takes two to lie - one to lie, and one to listen.
Homer Simpson

Remember, as far as anyone knows, we're a nice, normal family.
Homer Simpson

All right, let's not panic. I'll make the money by selling one of my livers. I can get by with
one.
Homer Simpson

Here's to alcohol, the cause of, and solution to, all life's problems.
Homer Simpson

What do we need a psychiatrist for? We know our kid is nuts.
Homer Simpson

Being married to Marge is like being married to to my best friend. And he lets me feel his
boobs.
Homer Simpson

I like my beer cold, my TV loud and my homosexuals flaming.
Homer Simpson

The Bible? Talk about a preachy book. Everbody's a sinner! Except this one guy.
Homer Simpson

Honey, I'm going to miss you so much. And it's not just the sex. It's also the food preparation.
Homer Simpson

Sensitive break-up letters are my specialty: Dear baby, welcome to Dumpsville. Population:
you. P.S. I'm gay.
Homer Simpson

We're going bowling. If we don't come back, avenge our deaths!
Homer Simpson


I'm having the best day of my life and I owe it all to not going to Church!
Homer Simpson

What about those red balls they have on car aerials so you can spot your car in a car park?
I think all cars should have them.
Homer Simpson 

Oh, there's so much I don't know about astrophysics. I wish I'd read that book by that
wheelchair guy.
Homer Simpson

Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.
Homer Simpson

Ooh, a graduate student huh? How come you guys can go to the moon but you can't make
my shoes smell good?
Homer Simpson

Your mother seems really upset. I better go have a talk with her. During the commercial.
Homer Simpson

- A subliminal idea can be planted in your mind without you even knowing it.
- Lisa, that's a load of rich, creamy butter.
Lisa and Homer Simpson

If you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They're about to
announce the lottery numbers.
Homer Simpson

Fame was like a drug. But what was even more like a drug were the drugs.
Homer Simpson

Marge, it's 3am. Shouldn't you be baking?
Homer Simpson

Lisa, vampires are make-believe, like elves, gremlins, and Eskimos.
Homer Simpson

Marge, are we Jewish?
Homer Simpson

Oh, honey! You're not the world's worst mother. What about the freezer lady in Georgia?
Homer Simpson

<< Previous    1  [2]    Next >>