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Frank Zappa quotes page 1

1940 - 1993, American composer guitarist and record producer

If you want to get laid, go to college. If you want an education, go to the library.
Frank Zappa

Communism doesn't work because people like to own stuff.
Frank Zappa

There's a big difference between kneeling down and bending over.
Frank Zappa

If you end up with a boring miserable life because you listened to your mom, your dad, your
teacher, your priest, or some guy on television telling you how to do your shit, then you
deserve it.
Frank Zappa

Without deviation from the norm, progress is not possible.
Frank Zappa

Take the Kama Sutra. How many people died from the Kama Sutra as opposed to the Bible?
Who wins?
Frank Zappa

Most people wouldn't know music if it came up and bit them on the ass.
Frank Zappa

Some scientists claim that hydrogen, because it is so plentiful, is the basic building block of
the universe. I dispute that. I say there is more stupidity than hydrogen, and that is the
basic building block of the universe.
Frank Zappa

You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline. It helps if you have some
kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer.
Frank Zappa

I never set out to be weird. It was always other people who called me weird.
Frank Zappa

There are more love songs than anything else. If songs could make you do something we'd all
love one another.
Frank Zappa

The United States is a nation of laws: badly written and randomly enforced.
Frank Zappa

The essence of Christianity is told us in the Garden of Eden history. The fruit that was
forbidden was on the tree of knowledge. The subtext is, "All the suffering you have is because
you wanted to find out what was going on. You could be in the Garden of Eden if you had just
keep your fucking mouth shut and hadn't asked any questions."
Frank Zappa

A mind is like a parachute. It doesn't work if it is not open.
Frank Zappa

Modern Americans behave as if intelligence were some sort of hideous deformity.
Frank Zappa

Censoring what you say is one of the ways in which people who are not nice can take away
your personal freedom.
Frank Zappa

The richest people in the world aren't particularly smart or happy. And the happiest people in
the world aren't particularly smart or rich.
Frank Zappa

When God created Republicans, he gave up on everything else.
Frank Zappa

We live in a very special time right now. At no other time in history has there been such mass
disillusionment in terms of reliance on governing functions.
Frank Zappa

Bad facts make bad law, and people who write bad laws are in my opinion more dangerous
than songwriters who celebrate sexuality.
Frank Zappa

The illusion of freedom will continue as long as it's profitable to continue the illusion. At the
point where the illusion becomes too expensive to maintain, they will just take down the
scenery, they will pull back the curtains, they will move the tables and chairs out of the way
and you will see the brick wall at the back of the theater.
Frank Zappa

I don't want to see any religious people in public office because they're working for another
boss.
Frank Zappa

It's better to have something to remember than anything to regret.
Frank Zappa

Without music to decorate it, time is just a bunch of boring production deadlines or dates by
which bills must be paid.
Frank Zappa

To me, absurdity is the only reality.
Frank Zappa

A drug is not bad. A drug is a chemical compound. The problem comes in when people who
take drugs treat them like a license to behave like an asshole.
Frank Zappa

I have four children, and I want them to grow up in a country that has a working First
Amendment.
Frank Zappa

May your shit come to life and kiss you on the face!
Frank Zappa

It would be easier to pay off the national debt overnight than to neutralize the long-range
effects of our national stupidity.
Frank Zappa

Tobacco is my favorite vegetable.
Frank Zappa

Rock journalism is people who can't write interviewing people who can't talk for people who
can't read.
Frank Zappa

Information is not knowledge. Knowledge is not wisdom. Wisdom is not truth. Truth is not
beauty. Beauty is not love. Love is not music. Music is the best!
Frank Zappa

Jazz isn't dead. It just smells funny.
Frank Zappa

The rock and roll business is pretty absurd, but the world of serious music is much worse.
Frank Zappa

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