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Drunkenness quotes page 1

You're not drunk as long as you can hold on to a blade of grass and not fall off the face of
the earth.
Irish proverb

My favourite drink is a cocktail of carrot juice and whiskey. I am always drunk but I can see
for miles.
Roy Chubby Brown

First the man takes a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes the man.
Japanese proverb

A person that is going to go out and get so drunk that you're going to get sick is just an
all-time dumb person.
Bill Cosby

Drunkenness reveals one's true mind.
Korean proverb

An American Monkey after getting drunk on Brandy would never touch it again, and thus is
much wiser than most men.
Charles Darwin

Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.
Ernest Hemingway

Drunkenness will not protect a secret.
Irish proverb

A man is at the bar, drunk. I pick him up off the floor, and offer to take him home. On the
way to my car, he falls down three times. When I get to his house, I help him out of the car,
and on the way to the front door, he falls down four more times. I ring the bell and say,
"Here's your husband!" The man's wife says, "Where's his wheelchair?"
Henry Youngman

What is on a drunken man's lips is on a sober man's mind.
Danish proverb

Credit buying is much like being drunk. The buzz happens immediately and gives you a lift…
The hangover comes the day after.
Joyce Brothers

The worst thing about some men is that when they are not drunk they are sober.
William Butler Yeats

Drunkenness and anger speak truthfully.
Irish proverb

New Year's is a harmless annual institution, of no particular use to anybody save as a
scapegoat for promiscuous drunks, and friendly calls and humbug resolutions.
Mark Twain

Drunkenness is temporary suicide: The happiness it brings is merely negative, a momentary
cessation of unhappiness.
Bertrand Russell

If you want to be happy for a short time, get drunk; happy for a long time, fall in love; happy
for ever, take up gardening.
Chinese proverb

Human reason is like a drunken man on horseback; set it up on one side and it tumbles over
on the other.
Martin Luther King Jr.

This drunkenness culminates on New Year's Eve, when you get so drunk you kiss the person 
you're married to.
P. J. O'Rourke

Drunkenness reveals what soberness conceals.
English proverb

Intoxicated? The word did not express it by a mile. He was oiled, boiled, fried, plastered,
whiffled, sozzled, and blotto.
P. G. Wodehouse

24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?
Steven Wright

No animal ever invented anything as bad as drunkenness – or so good as drink.
G. K. Chesterton

When two say you're drunk, it's best to go to sleep.
Jewish proverb

I know some who are constantly drunk on books as other men are drunk on whiskey.
H. L. Mencken

- Winston, you're drunk!
- Bessie, you're ugly. But tomorrow I shall be sober.
Bessie Braddock, Sir Winston Churchill

A man's true character comes out when he's drunk.
Charlie Chaplin

It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth
or the fourteenth.
George Burns

Son, when you participate in sporting events, it's not whether you win or lose: It's how drunk
you get.
Homer Simpson

It's always difficult to make conversation with a drunk, and there's no denying it, the sober
are at a disadvantage with him.
William Somerset Maugham

A sober man may become a drunkard through being a coward. A brave man may become a
coward through being a drunkard.
G. K. Chesterton

It is best to rise from life as from a banquet, neither thirsty nor drunken.

I was pulled over in Massachusetts for reckless driving. When brought before the judge, I was
asked if I knew what the punishment for drunk driving in that state was. I said, "I don't know.
Reelection to the Senate?"
Emo Philips

Though you drink wine, do not be drunk by wine.
Japanese proverb

My dad was the town drunk. Most of the time that's not so bad; but New York City?
Henry Youngman

An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools.
Ernest Hemingway

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