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Douglas Adams quotes page 1

1952 - 2001, English writer

I'm spending a year dead for tax reasons.
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In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and
been widely regarded as a bad move.
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A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is
to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools.
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A learning experience is one of those things that says, "You know that thing you just did?
Don't do that."
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If there's anything more important than my ego around, I want it caught and shot now!
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Let's think the unthinkable, let's do the undoable. Let us prepare to grapple with the ineffable
itself, and see if we may not eff it after all.
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The quality of any advice anybody has to offer has to be judged against the quality of life
they actually lead.
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He hoped and prayed that there wasn't an afterlife. Then he realized there was a
contradiction involved here and merely hoped that there wasn't an afterlife.
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God's final message to his Creation: We apologize for the inconvenience.
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The fact that we live at the bottom of a deep gravity well, on the surface of a gas covered
planet going around a nuclear fireball 90 million miles away and think this to be normal is
obviously some indication of how skewed our perspective tends to be.
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Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so.
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My absolute favorite piece of information is the fact that young sloths are so inept that they
frequently grab their own arms and legs instead of tree limbs, and fall out of trees.
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We don't have to save the world. The world is big enough to look after itself. What we have to
be concerned about is whether or not the world we live in will be capable of sustaining us in it.
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I'd far rather be happy than right any day.
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This planet has, or rather had, a problem, which was this: Most of the people living on it were
unhappy for pretty much of the time. Many solutions were suggested for this problem, but most
of these were largely concerned with the movement of small green pieces of paper, which was
odd because on the whole it wasn't the small green pieces of paper that were unhappy.
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Technology is a word that describes something that doesn't work yet.
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He was a dreamer, a thinker, a speculative philosopher… or, as his wife would have it, an idiot.
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When you blame others, you give up your power to change.
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Don't you understand that we need to be childish in order to understand? Only a child sees
things with perfect clarity, because it hasn't developed all those filters which prevent us from
seeing things that we don't expect to see.
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Space is big. You just won't believe how vastly, hugely, mind-bogglingly big it is. I mean, you
may think it's a long way down the road to the chemist's, but that's just peanuts to space.
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The impossible often has a kind of integrity the merely improbable lacks.
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I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by.
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Just believe everything I tell you, and it will all be very, very simple. Ah, well... I'm not sure I
believe that.
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There are of course many problems connected with life, of which some of the most popular
are: Why are people born? Why do they die? Why do they spend so much of the intervening
time wearing digital watches?
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All opinions are not equal. Some are a very great deal more robust, sophisticated and well
supported in logic and argument than others.
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See first, think later, then test. But always see first. Otherwise you will only see what you
were expecting. Most scientists forget that.
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For instance, on the planet Earth, man had always assumed that he was more intelligent than
dolphins because he had achieved so much - the wheel, New York, wars and so on - whilst all
the dolphins had ever done was muck about in the water having a good time. But conversely,
the dolphins had always believed that they were far more intelligent than man - for precisely
the same reasons.
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There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for
and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre
and inexplicable. There is another theory which states that this has already happened.
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If you try and take a cat apart to see how it works, the first thing you have on your hands is
a non-working cat.
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Driving a Porsche in London is like bringing a Ming vase to a football game.
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My universe is my eyes and my ears. Anything else is hearsay.
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There is no point in using the word "impossible" to describe something that has clearly
happened.
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