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Doug Larson quotes

born February 10, 1926; American newspaper columnist

Wisdom is the reward you get for a lifetime of listening when you'd have preferred to talk.
Doug Larson

Few things are more delightful than grandchildren fighting over your lap.
Doug Larson

The trouble with learning from experience is that you never graduate.
Doug Larson

Instead of giving a politician the keys to the city, it might be better to change the locks.
Doug Larson

Some of the world's greatest feats were accomplished by people not smart enough to know
they were impossible.
Doug Larson

There's nothing like having grandchildren to restore your faith in heredity.
Doug Larson

Wisdom is the quality that keeps you from getting into situations where you need it.
Doug Larson

Accomplishing the impossible means only that the boss will add it to your regular duties.
Doug Larson

An optimist thinks this is the best of all worlds. A pessimist fears the same may be true.
Doug Larson

Spring is when you feel like whistling even with a shoe full of slush.
Doug Larson

More marriages might survive if the partners realized that sometimes the better comes after
the worse.
Doug Larson

A lot of people mistake a short memory for a clear conscience.
Doug Larson

The reason people blame things on previous generations is that there's only one other choice.
Doug Larson

A true friend is one who overlooks your failures and tolerates your success.
Doug Larson

Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if green vegetables smelled as good as 
bacon.
Doug Larson

To err is human; to admit it, superhuman.
Doug Larson

People are living longer than ever before, a phenomenon undoubtedly made necessary by the
30-year mortgage.
Doug Larson

The world is full of people looking for spectacular happiness while they snub contentment.
Doug Larson

Sometimes opportunity knocks, but most of the time it sneaks up and then quietly steals
away.
Doug Larson

If the English language made any sense, lackadaisical would have something to do with a
shortage of flowers.
Doug Larson

Establishing goals is all right if you don't let them deprive you of interesting detours.
Doug Larson

The only nice thing about being imperfect is the joy it brings to others.
Doug Larson

A weed is a plant that has mastered every survival skill except for learning how to grow in
rows.
Doug Larson

Utility is when you have one telephone, luxury is when you have two, opulence is when you
have three – and paradise is when you have none.
Doug Larson

A clean basement, garage and attic are signs of an empty life.
Doug Larson

A lot of people mistake a short memory for a clear conscience.
Doug Larson

The aging process has you firmly in its grasp if you never get the urge to throw a snowball.
Doug Larson

If people concentrated on the really important things in life, there'd be a shortage of fishing
poles.
Doug Larson

Nostalgia is a file that removes the rough edges from the good old days.
Doug Larson

The cat could very well be man's best friend but would never stoop to admitting it.
Doug Larson

The surprising thing about young fools is how many survive to become old fools.
Doug Larson

For disappearing acts, it's hard to beat what happens to the eight hours supposedly left after
eight of sleep and eight of work.
Doug Larson

Heredity is a splendid phenomenon that relieves us of responsibility for our shortcomings.
Doug Larson

If all the cars in the United States were placed end to end, it would probably be Labor Day
Weekend.
Doug Larson

The trouble with class reunions is that old flames have become even older.
Doug Larson

Real elation is when you feel you could touch a star without standing on tiptoe.
Doug Larson

A pun is the lowest form of humor, unless you thought of it yourself.
Doug Larson

Home computers are being called upon to perform many new functions, including the
consumption of homework formerly eaten by the dog.
Doug Larson