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Doctor quotes page 3

The federal government has no right to treat all Americans as criminals by spying on their
relationship with their doctors, employers, or bankers.
Ron Paul

When I go to the dentist, he's the one that has to have the anaesthetic.
Phyllis Diller

A doctor gave a man six months to live. The man couldn't pay his bill, so he gave him another
six months.
Henry Youngman

A man goes to the doctor with a strawberry growing out of his head. The doctor says, "I'll
give you some cream to put on that."
Tommy Cooper

My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror.
Rodney Dangerfield

Every fighter that ever lived had fear. A boy comes to me and tells me that he's not afraid, if
I believed him I'd say he's a liar or there's something wrong with him. I'd send him to a doctor
to find out what the hell's the matter with him, because this is not a normal reaction. The
fighter that's gone into the ring and hasn't experienced fear is either a liar or a psychopath.
Cus D'Amato

The health insurance doctor has refused to renew my health policy. The nefarious quack
claims he found urine in my whiskey.
W. C. Fields

Americans are people who laugh at African witch doctors and spend 100 million dollars on fake
diets.
L. L. Levinson

An alcoholic has been lightly defined as a man who drinks more than his own doctor.
Alvan L. Barach

The human capacity to fight back will always astonish doctors and philosophers. It seems,
indeed, that there are no circumstances so bad and no obstacles so big that man cannot conquer
them.
Jean Tetreau

I needed to get a strange mole checked out, but when I went to my doctor's surgery, the
first available appointment with the specialist was in six months. I said, "By that time I could
be dead." And the receptionist said, "If that happens, be sure to cancel your appointment."
Stephanie Shiern

The only difference between doctors and lawyers is that lawyers merley rob you, whereas
doctors rob you and kill you, too.
Anton Chekhov

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