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Divorce quotes page 1

It's better to have a good divorce than a bad marriage.
Larry Winget

The difference between a divorce and a legal separation is that a legal separation gives a
husband time to hide his money.
Johnny Carson

Getting divorced just because you don't love a man is almost as silly as getting married just
because you do.
Zsa Zsa Gabor

I consider the official Catholic attitude on divorce, birth control, and censorship exceedingly
dangerous to mankind.
Bertrand Russell

One reason people get divorced is that they run out of gift ideas.
Robert Byrne

The only time my wife and I had a simultaneous orgasm was when the judge signed the
divorce papers.
Woody Allen

I'm an excellent housekeeper. Every time I get a divorce, I keep the house.
Zsa Zsa Gabor

Why do Hollywood divorces cost so much? Because they're worth it.
Johnny Carson

You can bear your own faults, why not a fault in your wife?
Benjamin Franklin

People do not get married planning to divorce. Divorce is the result of a lack of preparation
for marriage and the failure to learn the skills of working together as teammates in an intimate
Gary Chapman

Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse.
Groucho Marx

My husband and I have never considered divorce... murder sometimes, but never divorce.
Joyce Brothers

If you live your life like most people do, you will get what most people get. You will settle for
what most people settle for. Here's a taste of "most people." Forty-nine percent of marriages
now end in divorce. Eighty percent of people working today would rather be in another line of
work. More than fifty percent of Americans are overweight. One out of three will get cancer
while two out of five will suffer from heart disease. More than sixty percent of Americans,
living in the richest, most abundant civilization in history, will retire with little or no savings,
dependent on so-called "entitlements" for survival. If you want to lead an extraordinary life,
find out what the ordinary do and don't do it. That is a simple but true formula. Remember, no
one plans to become mediocre. Mediocrity is the result of no plan at all.
Tommy Newberry

I'm not upset about my divorce. I'm only upset I'm not a widow.
Roseanne Barr

A man who lets his problems get the better of him is like a man who divorces his wife
the first time she makes him angry.
Malagasy proverb

Divorce: A resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.
Ambrose Bierce

In disagreements with loved ones, deal only with the current situation. Don't bring up the
Dalai Lama

For a while we pondered whether to take a vacation or get a divorce. We decided that a trip
to Bermuda is over in two weeks, but a divorce is something you always have.
Woody Allen

There are a few rules I know to be true about love and marriage: If you don't respect the
other person, you're gonna have a lot of trouble. If you don't know how to compromise,
you're gonna have a lot of trouble. If you can't talk openly about what goes on between you,
you're gonna have a lot of trouble. And if you don't have a common set of values in life,
you're gonna have a lot of trouble. Your values must be alike.
Mitch Albom

My wife and I are getting remarried. Our divorce didn't work out.
Rodney Dangerfield

Many people are much more committed to their marriage than they are to their spouse. Many
people are so committed to the institution of marriage that they stay in unhappy, abusive
marriages rather than divorce.
Larry Winget

- You see a girl a couple of times a week and sooner or later she thinks you'll divorce your
wife. Not fair, is it?
- No, especially to your wife.
The Apartment, 1960

Hollywood brides keep the bouquets and throw away the grooms.
Groucho Marx

Healthy relationships are based on one thing - healthy communication, otherwise known as
assertive, or to get right to the point - adult communication.
Connie Podesta

I don't like divorces because I think that when you make a contract, you should keep it. The
marriage contract is one of the most sacred in the world.
Harry Truman

If normal is good then that's ok, let's be normal. But normal is not good. Normal in America
today is 70% of Americans are living paycheck to paycheck according to the Wallstreet
journal. Normal in America today is bankruptcy is increased almost every single year. Normal
in America today is people work their whole lives and retire and say "I sure hope the
government, which is well known for it's ability to handle money, will take care of me." Normal
in America today is the number 1 cause for divorce in North America is money fights and
money problems.... Normal in America today is a car with a payment and no idea that "I'm
ever gonna live without a car payment"... Normal in America today is broke, and it sucks!
Looking good and no freaking money! Big hat, no cattle! That's normal. So don't talk to me
about normal. Normal sucks!
Dave Ramsey

Divorce is the one human tragedy that reduces everything to cash.
Rita Mae Brown

For some reason, we see divorce as a signal of failure, despite the fact that each of us has a
right, and an obligation, to rectify any other mistake we make in life.
Joyce Brothers

Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards.
Benjamin Franklin

You are mentally divorced when you indulge in peeves, grudges, ill will, and hostility toward
your marriage partner. You are mentally dwelling with error in the bed of your mind. Adhere to
your marriage vows, "I promise to cherish, love, and honor him (or her) all the days of my life."
Joseph Murphy

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