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Divorce quotes page 2

You never really know a man until you have divorced him.
Zsa Zsa Gabor

The worst reconciliation is better than the best divorce.
Miguel de Cervantes

Many marriages would be better if the husband and wife clearly understood that they're on
the same side.
Zig Ziglar

Alimony - the ransom that the happy pay to the devil.
H. L. Mencken

My wife got the house, the car, the bank account, and if I marry again and have children,
she gets them too.
Woody Allen

Conrad Hilton was very generous to me in the divorce settlement. He gave me 5,000 Gideon
Bibles.
Zsa Zsa Gabor

Divorce comes from the latin word divorcerum meaning "to have your genitals torn through
your wallet."
Robin Williams

Divorce is like being hit by a Mack truck. If you live through it, you start looking very carefully
to the right and to the left.
Jean Kerr

Saddam Hussein went from living in a palace to a one-bedroom hovel with next to no
possessions. Where I come from, we call that divorce.
Johnnie Casson

I wanted a divorce, so I bought myself a house, to give me the incentive to stay married.
Jarod Kintz

When I got divorced, I went through the various stages of grieving - anger, denial, and
dancing around my settlement cheque.
Maura Kennedy

You can't stay married in a situation where you are afraid to go to sleep in case your wife
might cut your throat.
Mike Tyson

A marriage without conflicts is almost as inconceivable as a nation without crises.
Andre Maurois

When I won the golf tournament in South Africa, I asked my wife if she'd like a designer dress
or diamonds as a present, but she said, "No, I want a divorce." I said I wasn't planning on
spending that much.
Nick Faldo

I come from a wealthy divorced family. My mom's wealthy. My dad's divorced.
Pauley Shore

It was a very messy divorce because there was a baby involved. Him.
Wendy Liebman

Alimony is the screwing you get for the screwing you got.
Jim Davidson

Divorce isn't such a tragedy. A tragedy's staying in an unhappy marriage, teaching your 
children the wrong things about love. Nobody ever died of divorce.
Jennifer Weiner

If you made a list of the reasons why any couple got married, and another list of the reasons
for their divorce, you'd have a hell of a lot of overlapping.
Mignon McLaughlin

A divorce is like an amputation: you survive it, but there's less of you.
Margaret Atwood

My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God, and I didn't.
Vera Foster

In every marriage more than a week old, there are grounds for divorce. The trick is to find
and continue to find grounds for marriage.
Robert Anderson

I've never been married, but I tell people I'm divorced so they won't think something's wrong
with me.
Elayne Boosler

It's tough. After five years of marriage, it's difficult to lose the one with the good credit
rating.
Rich Voss

When two people decide to get a divorce, it isn't a sign that they "don't understand" one
another, but a sign that they have, at last, begun to.
Helen Rowland

A lot of people have asked me how short I am. Since my last divorce, I think I'm about
$100,000 short.
Mickey Rooney

I know what "custody of the children" means. It means "get even."
Lenny Bruce

Nice people don't necessarily fall in love with nice people.
Jonathan Franzen

I've gone through a really hard divorce, and anyone who has gone through a divorce will
speak about how hard the journey is from start to finish. It's a life-uprooting time.
Christina Aguilera

Just another of our many disagreements. He wants a no-fault divorce, whereas I would prefer
to have the bastard crucified.
J. B. Handlesman

When you live by youself again, it's like, as if by magic, all your annoying habits are gone.
Marrill Markoe

I've been involved in something which was chaotic and insane. All I can say now is that I am,
and intend to stay, a single man.
Sylvester Stallone

Divorce is the second worst event in a person’s life. The worst event, of course, is marriage.
Jarod Kintz

Marriage is but for a little while. It is alimony that is for ever.
Quentin Crisp

France may claim the happiest marriages in the world, but the happiest divorces in the world
are made in America.
Helen Rowland

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