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Dean Martin quotes

June 7, 1917 – December 25, 1995; American singer and actor

You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.
Dean Martin

It was a woman who drove me to drink, come to think of it I never did hang around to thank
her for that.
Dean Martin

- What shall we drink to?
- About four in the morning.
Sammy Davis Jr., Dean Martin

Milton Berle is an inspiration to every young person that wants to get into show business.
Hard work, perseverance, and discipline: all the things you need... when you have no talent.
Dean Martin

I'd hate to be a teetotaller. Imagine getting up in the morning and knowing that's as good as
you're going to feel all day.
Dean Martin

Johnny Carson is a comedian who is seen every night in millions of bedrooms all over
America... and that's why his last wife left him.
Dean Martin

I've got seven kids. The three words you hear most around my house are "hello," "goodbye,"
and "I'm pregnant.".
Dean Martin

I would rather have a free bottle in front of me than a pre-frontal lobotomy.
Dean Martin

In high school, Frank (Sinatra) never participated in extra-curricular activities, like nature
study, paintings or ceramics. Frank's hobby was a most interesting one: he was an amateur
gynecologist.
Dean Martin

If you drink, don't drive. Don't even putt.
Dean Martin

Last night she was banging on my door for forty-five minutes - but I wouldn't let her out.
Dean Martin

When Jerry Lewis and I were big, we used to go to parties, and everybody thought I was
big-headed and stuck up, and I wasn't. It was because I didn't know how to speak good
English, so I used to keep my mouth shut.
Dean Martin

The reason I drink is because when I'm sober I think I'm Eddie Fisher.
Dean Martin

There's a statue of Jimmy Stewart in the Hollywood Wax Museum, and the statue talks better
than he does.
Dean Martin

Phyllis (Diller) is the women of about whom Picasso once said, "Somebody throw a drop cloth
over that."
Dean Martin

I drink because my body craves, needs alcohol. I don't drink, my body's a drunk.
Dean Martin