Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat
and drink beer all day.
Everybody's got to believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer.
W. C. Fields
24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?
You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline. It helps if you have some
kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer.
They who drink beer think beer.
Not all chemicals are bad. Without hydrogen or oxygen, for example, there would be no way
to make water, a vital ingredient for beer.
Get me a beer. I don't care what kind it is, just get me a beer!
Prince Philip, on being offered an
exquisite wine in Rome in 2000
Now, son, you don't want to drink beer. That's for daddies and kids with fake IDs.
I've quit smoking. I feel better, I smell better, and it's safer to drink out of old beer cans
around the house.
"Did you ever taste beer?" "I had a sip of it once," said the small servant. "Here's a state of
things!" cried Mr Swiveller, raising his eyes to the ceiling. "She never tasted it - it can't be
tasted in a sip!"
Put a good tax on beer and that would take care of the unemployment fund.
Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you
that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.
I am a firm believer in the people. If given the truth, they can be depended upon to meet any
national crisis. The great point is to bring them the real facts, and beer.
Beer - now there's a temporary solution!
Stay with the beer. Beer is continuous blood. A continuous lover.
Beer, it's the best damn drink in the world.
Beer, if drunk in moderation, softens the temper, cheers the spirit and promotes health.
When the beer goes in the wits go out.
A fine beer may be judged with only one sip, but it's better to be thoroughly sure.
Bart, a woman is like beer. They look good, they smell good, and you'd step over your own
mother just to get one!
Most people hate the taste of beer - to begin with. It is, however, a prejudice.
Sir Winston Churchill
He was a wise man who invented beer.
Under the pressure of the cares and sorrows of our mortal condition, men have at all times,
and in all countries, called in some physical aid to their moral consolations - wine, beer,
opium, brandy, or tobacco.
I was at a bar nursing a beer. My nipple was getting quite soggy.
The best beer is where the coachmen and the priests go for their drink.
In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria.
I like my beer cold, my TV loud and my homosexuals flaming.
For those who believe in God, most of the big questions are answered. But for those of us
who can't readily accept the God formula, the big answers don't remain stone-written. We
adjust to new conditions and discoveries. We are pliable. Love need not be a command nor
faith a dictum. I am my own god. We are here to unlearn the teachings of the church, state,
and our educational system. We are here to drink beer. We are here to kill war. We are here
to laugh at the odds and live our lives so well that Death will tremble to take us.
Better weak beer than an empty cask.
There is an ancient Celtic axiom that says "Good people drink good beer." Which is true,
as now. Just look around you in any public barroom and you will quickly see: Bad people drink
bad beer. Think about it.
Hunter S. Thompson
If I have a near-beer, I'm near beer. And if I'm near beer, I'm close to tequila. And if I'm close
to tequila, I'm adjacent to cocaine.
In a study, scientists report that drinking beer can be good for the liver. I'm sorry, did I say
"scientists?" I meant Irish people.
All men hear is blah, blah, blah, blah, SEX, blah, blah, blah, FOOD, blah, blah, blah, BEER.
Beer's intellectual. What a shame so many idiots drink it.
A man who lies about beer makes enemies.
There is no such thing as a bad beer. It's that some taste better than others.
Nothing ever tasted better than a cold beer on a beautiful afternoon with nothing to look
forward to than more of the same.
Beer is made by men, wine by God.