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Animal quotes page 1

Dogs are the leaders of the planet. If you see two life forms, one of them's making a poop,
the other one's carrying it for him, who would you assume is in charge?
Jerry Seinfeld

I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals.
Sir Winston Churchill

"Meow" means "woof" in cat.
George Carlin

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous he will not bite you. This is the
principal difference between a dog and man.
Mark Twain

Dogs love their friends and bite their enemies, quite unlike people, who are incapable of pure
love and always have to mix love and hate.
Sigmund Freud

Of all the animals, man is the only one that is cruel. He is the only one that inflicts pain for
the pleasure of doing it.
Mark Twain

Dogs never bite me. Just humans.
Marilyn Monroe

Animals are such agreeable friends - they ask no questions, they pass no criticisms.
George Eliot

Keep a dog for three days and he will not forget your kindness, but three years kindness
shown to a cat is forgotten in three days.
Japanese proverb

I am in favor of animal rights as well as human rights. That is the way of a whole human
Abraham Lincoln

The great pleasure of a dog is that you may make a fool of yourself with him and not only will
he not scold you, but he will make a fool of himself too.
Samuel Butler

A man can live and be healthy without killing animals for food; therefore, if he eats meat, he
participates in taking animal life merely for the sake of his appetite. And to act so is immoral.
Leo Tolstoy

The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.
Andy Rooney

The greatness of a nation and its moral progress can be judged by the way its animals are
Mahatma Gandhi

All animals except man know that the ultimate goal of life is to enjoy it.
Samuel Butler

Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the
Robert A. Heinlein

A bird does not sing because it has an answer. It sings because it has a song.
Chinese proverb

Man, when perfected, is the best of animals, but when separated from law and justice, he is
the worst of all.

I bought a pedigree dog for 300$. My friend said, "Give me 300$ and I'll shit on your carpet."
Joan Rivers

If a dog will not come to you after having looked you in the face, you should go home and
examine your conscience.
Woodrow Wilson

Heaven goes by favour. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in.
Mark Twain

The cat is the animal to whom the Creator gave the biggest eye, the softest fur, the most
supremely delicate nostrils, a mobile ear, an unrivaled paw and a curved claw borrowed from
the rose-tree.
Sidonie-Gabrielle Colette

The dog is the god of frolic.
Henry Ward Beecher

Anybody who doesn't know what soap tastes like never washed a dog.
Franklin P. Jones

Man's unique reward, however, is that while animals survive by adjusting themselves to their
background, man survives by adjusting his background to himself.
Ayn Rand

A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet. "My dog is cross-eyed, is there anything you can do
for him?" "Well," said the vet, "let's have a look at him." So he picks the dog up and examines
his eyes, then he checks his teeth. Finally, he says, "I'm going to have to put him down."
"What? Because he's cross-eyed?" "No, because he's really heavy."
Tommy Cooper

A psychologist is selling a video that teaches you how to test your dog's IQ. Here's how it
works: if you spend $12.99 on the video, your dog is smarter than you.
Jay Leno

God in His wisdom made the fly, and then forgot to tell us why.
Ogden Nash

I ask people why they have deer heads on their walls. They always say because it's such a
beautiful animal. There you go. I think my mother is attractive, but I have photographs of
Ellen DeGeneres

In Britain, a dog is for Christmas. In Korea, it could be for breakfast, lunch or dinner.

I'm all for killing animals and turning them into handbags. I just don't want to have to eat
Victoria Wood

In order to keep a true perspective of one's importance, everyone should have a dog that will
worship him and a cat that will ignore him.
Dereke Bruce

To his dog, every man is Napoleon - hence the constant popularity of dogs.
Aldous Huxley

Some people talk to animals. Not many listen though. That's the problem.
A.A. Milne

I had been told that the training procedure with cats was difficult. It's not. Mine has trained
me in two days.
Bill Dana

If having a soul means being able to feel love and loyalty and gratitude, then animals are
better off than a lot of humans.
James Herriot

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