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Animal quotes page 2

The monkey is an organized sarcasm upon the human race.
Henry Ward Beecher

No matter how much the cats fight, there always seem to be plenty of kittens.
Abraham Lincoln

Animals are my friends... and I don't eat my friends.
George Bernard Shaw

Ignorant people think it's the noise which fighting cats make that is so aggravating, but it
ain't so. It's the sickening grammar they use.
Mark Twain

Other dogs bite only their enemies, whereas I bite also my friends in order to save them.

The assumption that animals are without rights, and the illusion that our treatment of them
has no moral significance, is a positively outrageous example of Western crudity and
barbarity. Universal compassion in the only guarantee of morality.
Arthur Schopenhauer

Dogs have a nice life. You never see a dog with a wristwatch.
George Carlin

You can judge a man's true character by the way he treats his fellow animals.
Paul McCartney

The love for all living creatures is the most noble attribute of man.
Charles Darwin

If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went.
Will Rogers

I took a walk in Central Park and got all excited when I thought I saw a robin redbreast.
Turned out to be a pigeon with a knife wound.
David Letterman

I'm half-Irish, half-Dutch and I was born in Belgium. If I was a dog - I'd be in a hell of a mess!
Audrey Hepburn

A little dog can start a hare but it takes a big one to catch it.
Irish proverb

We should be careful to get out of an experience only the wisdom that is in it and stop there;
lest we be like the cat that sits down on a hot stove-lid. She will never sit down on a hot
stove-lid again - and that is well; but also she will never sit down on a cold one anymore.
Mark Twain

Man is a clever animal who behaves like an imbecile.
Albert Schweitzer

If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens
if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?
Steven Wright

Penguins mate for life. Which doesn't exactly surprise me that much 'cause they all look alike
- it's not like they're gonna meet a better-looking penguin someday.
Ellen DeGeneres

When it's us, it's an abortion; when it's a chicken, it's an omelette.
George Carlin

Only when the last tree is cut, only when the last river is polluted, only when the last fish is
caught, will they realize that you can't eat money.
Native American proverb

Dogs wag their tails not so much in love to you as to your bread.
English proverb

Reality - Dreams = Animal Being
Reality + Dreams = A Heart-Ache (usually called Idealism)
Reality + Humor = Realism (also called Conservatism)
Dreams - Humor = Fanaticism
Dreams + Humor = Fantasy
Reality + Dreams + Humor = Wisdom
Lin Yutang

A dog is not considered a good dog because he is a good barker.
A man is not considered a good man because he is a good talker.

Ants are tiny creatures with a primitive brain no larger than that of a psychic-hotline caller.
Dave Barry

My favorite animal is steak.
Fran Lebowitz

If animals could speak, the dog would be a blundering outspoken fellow; but the cat would
have the rare grace of never saying a word too much.
Mark Twain

A zebra cannot change its spots.
Dan Quayle

Happiness is a warm puppy.
Charles Schulz

Man is the only animal that laughs and weeps; for he is the only animal that is struck with the
difference between what things are, and what they ought to be.
William Hazlitt

Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful.
Ann Landers

Don't allow your animal nature to rule your reason.

The snake grows with every repetition of the story.
Philippine proverb

They say that dog is a man's best friend. I don't believe that. How many of your friends have
you had neutered?
Larry Reeb

I like animals as much as the next guy, but if I'm hungry, I'll eat a panda sandwich.
Howard Stern

When insects take over the world, we hope they will remember with gratitude how we took
them along on all our picnics.
Jim Koser

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