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Andy Rooney quotes page 2

The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a
90% probability you'll get it wrong.
Andy Rooney

I didn't get old on purpose, it just happened. If you're lucky, it could happen to you.
Andy Rooney

We need people who can actually do things. We have too many bosses and too few workers.
More college graduates ought to become plumbers or electricians, then go home at night and
read Shakespeare.
Andy Rooney

Not everyone has a right to his own opinion. If he doesn't know the facts, his opinion doesn't
count.
Andy Rooney

People will generally accept facts as truth only if the facts agree with what they already
believe.
Andy Rooney

I've learned... that the best classroom in the world is at the feet of an elderly person.
Andy Rooney

I've learned... that when you're in love, it shows.
Andy Rooney

I've learned... that just one person saying to me, "You've made my day," makes my day.
Andy Rooney

I've learned... that having a child fall asleep in your arms is one of the most peaceful feelings
in the world.
Andy Rooney

I've learned... that being kind is more important than being right.
Andy Rooney

I've learned... that you should never say no to a gift from a child.
Andy Rooney

I've learned... that I can always pray for someone when I don't have the strength to help him
in some other way.
Andy Rooney

I've learned... that no matter how serious your life requires you to be, everyone needs a friend
to act goofy with.
Andy Rooney

I've learned... that sometimes all a person needs is a hand to hold and a heart to understand.
Andy Rooney

I've learned... that simple walks with my father around the block on summer nights when I was
a child did wonders for me as an adult.
Andy Rooney

I've learned... that life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it
goes.
Andy Rooney

I've learned... that we should be glad God doesn't give us everything we ask for.
Andy Rooney

I've learned... that money doesn't buy class.
Andy Rooney

I've learned... that it's those small daily happenings that make life so spectacular.
Andy Rooney

I've learned... that under everyone's hard shell is someone who wants to be appreciated and
loved.
Andy Rooney

I've learned... that to ignore the facts does not change the facts.
Andy Rooney

I've learned... that when you plan to get even with someone, you are only letting that person
continue to hurt you.
Andy Rooney

One question in my mind, which I hardly dare mention in public, is whether patriotism has,
overall, been a force for good or evil in the world. Patriotism is rampant in war and there are
some good things about it. Just as self-respect and pride bring out the best in an individual,
pride in family, pride in teammates, pride in hometown bring out the best in groups of people.
War brings out the kind of pride in country that encourages its citizens in the direction of
excellence and it encourages them to be ready to die for it. At no time do people work so
well together to achieve the same goal as they do in wartime. Maybe that's enough to make
patriotism eligible to be considered a virtue. If only I could get out of my mind the most
patriotic people who ever lived, the Nazi Germans.
Andy Rooney

Computers may save time but they sure waste a lot of paper. About 98 percent of everything
printed out by a computer is garbage that no one ever reads.
Andy Rooney

I recently bought this new laptop to use when I travel. Look at that. Fits right into my
briefcase. It weighs less than three pounds. I lose that much getting mad, waiting to get on
the plane through security at the airport.
Andy Rooney

My idea of heaven would be to die and awaken in a place that has all my lost things.
Andy Rooney

I'm always on the lookout for something good about people. Often months go by.
Andy Rooney

There's nothing people like better than being asked an easy question. For some reason, we're
flattered when a stranger asks us where maple Street is in our hometown and we can tell him.
Andy Rooney

Obscenities - I think a lot of dumb people do it because they can't think of what they want to
say and they're frustrated. A lot of smart people do it to pretend they aren't very smart –
want to be just one of the boys.
Andy Rooney

The best thing that's bad for you is butter.
Andy Rooney

I don't think of myself as a television personality. I'm a writer who reads what he's written.
Andy Rooney

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