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Alcohol quotes page 1

Here's to alcohol, the cause of, and solution to, all life's problems.
Homer Simpson

Whiskey when you're sick makes you well. Whiskey makes you sick when you're well.
Irish proverb

Alcohol is the anethesia by which we endure the operation of life.
George Bernard Shaw

A bottle of wine contains more philosophy than all the books in the world.
Louis Pasteur

A sober man may become a drunkard through being a coward. A brave man may become a
coward through being a drunkard.
G. K. Chesterton

My favourite drink is a cocktail of carrot juice and whiskey. I am always drunk but I can see
for miles.
Roy Chubby Brown

Wine is the most healthful and most hygienic of beverages.
Louis Pasteur

In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria.
Benjamin Franklin

The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like,
and do what you'd druther not.
Mark Twain

Drink is more a disease than a vice.
Mahatma Gandhi

Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.
Frank Sinatra

Happiness can be bought with a bottle of wine and has become ambiguous through overuse.
Tim Ferriss

All I can say is that I have taken more out of alcohol than it has taken out of me.
Sir Winston Churchill

Wine gives courage and makes men more apt for passion.
Ovid

Where wine goes in, modesty goes out.
German proverb

Instead of warning pregnant women not to drink, I think female alcoholics ought to be told
not to fuck.
George Carlin

Drunkenness and anger speak truthfully.
Irish proverb

I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it.
Rodney Dangerfield

I feel bad for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as
they're going to feel all day.
Frank Sinatra

Drink because you are happy, but never because you are miserable.
G. K. Chesterton

I think the warning labels on alcoholic beverages are too bland. They should be more vivid.
Here is one I would suggest: "Alcohol will turn you into the same asshole your father was."
George Carlin

Is the glass half full or half empty? It depends on whether you're pouring or drinking.
Bill Cosby

Drink provokes the desire, but it takes away the performance.
William Shakespeare, Macbeth

First the man takes a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes the man.
Japanese proverb

Boys should abstain from all use of wine until after their eighteenth year, for it is wrong to add
fire to fire.
Plato

I never trust a man that doesn't drink.
John Wayne

That's all drugs and alcohol do, they cut off your emotions in the end.
Ringo Starr

You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline. It helps if you have some
kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer.
Frank Zappa

The worst thing about some men is that when they are not drunk they are sober.
William Butler Yeats

Wine is sunlight, held together by water.
Galileo Galilei

One reason I don't drink is that I want to know when I am having a good time.
Nancy Astor

After the first glass of absinthe, you see things as you wish they were. After the second, you
see them as they are not. Finally, you see things as they really are, and that is the most
horrible thing in the world.
Oscar Wilde

Wine renews the passion of lovers, and the hatred of enemies.
Jewish proverb

There comes a time in every woman's life when the only thing that helps is a glass of
champagne.
Bette Davis

I'd hate to be a teetotaller. Imagine getting up in the morning and knowing that's as good as
you're going to feel all day.
Dean Martin

I can't die until the government finds a safe place to bury my liver.
Phil Harris

I had a horrible nightmare last night. I dreamt I drank the world's largest margarita, and when
I woke up this morning, there was salt on the toilet lid. Thank God I didn't eat the worm in
there.
Larry the Cable Guy

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