Alcohol quotes page 2
They say we're 98 per cent water. That means if you drink one glass of water, you're in
grave danger of drowning.
If you drink you die, if you don't drink you die, so it is better to drink.
Our national drug is alcohol. We tend to regard the use of any other drug with special horror.
William S. Burroughs
I drink to make other people more interesting.
Reality is an illusion that occurs due to the lack of alcohol.
W. C. Fields
It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth
or the fourteenth.
Happiness is finding two olives in your martini when you're hungry.
Be wary of strong drink. It can make you shoot at tax collectors... and miss.
Robert A. Heinlein
He who does not risk, will never drink champagne.
How do you keep the natives off the booze long enough to get them through the test?
Prince Philip, to a driving instructor in Scotland
Everybody's got to believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer.
What is on a drunken man's lips is on a sober man's mind.
The three-martini lunch is the epitome of American efficiency. Where else can you get an
earful, a bellyful and a snootful at the same time?
Gerald R. Ford
I enjoy cooking with wine, sometimes I even put it in the food I'm cooking.
Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.
A cask of wine will work more miracles than a church full of saints.
There is more friendship in a half pint of whiskey than in a churn of buttermilk.
I was pulled over in Massachusetts for reckless driving. When brought before the judge, I was
asked if I knew what the punishment for drunk driving in that state was. I said, "I don't know.
Reelection to the Senate?"
Wine sets an edge to wit.
Credit buying is much like being drunk. The buzz happens immediately and gives you a lift…
The hangover comes the day after.
Work is the curse of the drinking classes.
They speak of my drinking, but never think of my thirst.
Choose your company before you go drinking.
An American Monkey after getting drunk on Brandy would never touch it again, and thus is
much wiser than most men.
Happiness? A good martini, a good meal, a good cigar and a good woman. Or a bad woman; it
depends on how much happiness you can handle.
There is more refreshment and stimulation in a nap, even of the briefest, than in all the
alcohol ever distilled.
Drunkenness is temporary suicide: The happiness it brings is merely negative, a momentary
cessation of unhappiness.
I knew I was drunk. I felt sophisticated and couldn't pronounce it.
Herb is the healing of a nation, alcohol is the destruction.
Under the pressure of the cares and sorrows of our mortal condition, men have at all times,
and in all countries, called in some physical aid to their moral consolations - wine, beer,
opium, brandy, or tobacco.
A man's true character comes out when he's drunk.
Candy is dandy but liquor is quicker.
Writer's block is a fancy term made up by whiners so they can have an excuse to drink alcohol.
There is nothing which has yet been contrived by man, by which so much happiness is
produced as by a good tavern.
Beer. Helping Ugly People Have Sex Since 1863.
An alcoholic is someone you don't like who drinks as much as you do.
There are better things in life than alcohol, but it makes up for not having them.
Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine,
sugar and fat.